"Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to
praise You Jesus, bring the rain"
~Mercy Me "Bring the Rain"
How do you make a lifetime of memories in 8 short months? What I have realized is there is never enough time: what I wouldn't do right now to hold Olivia again, kiss her sweet forehead, sing to her, tell her a story.
We layed Olivia to rest on Saturday, July 19 at a private service with our parents and siblings. The service was beautiful, just as I imagine my sweet Olivia is right now. Pastor David Lawson is amazing and focused Olivia's service on hope. The hope we know we have because of Jesus and what he has provided for us. He explained that Olivia's life had purpose. God knew her before we did, he had a plan for her and he was excited about Olivia and the work she would do in our lives. Although Olivia was only with us for a brief time she has impacted my life in a way that I'm not sure I can even put into words. She has strengthened our marriage, provided a renewed strength in my faith and completely changed the person I once was.
This pregnancy has been one of abundant joy and deep sorrow, such a strange mix of feelings, I'm not really sure they were ever meant to happen at the same time. As much as I wonder "Why?," I can say without a doubt that I am a better person for having known her and getting to experience her life if even for such a short amount of time. I know that there will come a day when I will have time to spend with Olivia...I will sing to her and tell her all the stories that I always wanted to and never had the chance. One more lesson learned...I look forward to that day like I never have before.
Olivia's life will continue to bring glory...Jesus, Bring the Rain.
1 comment:
Jenn- I couldn't imagine going through everything that you have gone through. You are the strongest person I know. You've kept a smile on your face during the hardest times. I am so excited to meet Audrey that I am almost jumping up and down!:) I can't wait untill you bring her home and I can actually hold her. Even though that won't happen for a few weeks, I know that she will be strong and fight everyday to improve! I love your family and your boys. You have no idea how fortunate I feel to have been given the opportunity to know Dawson, Lane, and your whole family. Somedays, I feel like those boys are my own. (But when it comes down to it, they still pick their mommy over me!) I don't know what I would do without those sweet boys. Dawson gets ornerier everyday while Lane gets sweeter. He gives the most adorable kisses and Dawson says the funniest things. Audrey is very special, she will always have her sister, Olivia, watching over her as she lives her life. Please let me know if you ever need anything:) God bless you and your family:-)
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