Oh, what a glorious day!

What a beautiful morning! I feel like a million bucks! The birds are singing, the sun is shining and the smell of spring is in the air. Ok, not really...but, Audrey slept through the night!!!! It doesn't get much better than that! I'm used to getting up three times a night, so you can imagine how I panicked when I awoke at 3 am and realized she hasn't demanded a bottle yet. I literally jumped out of bed, ran up the stairs and put my hand on her chest...c'mon, I know you've all done it. Yep, she's breathing and she's still sleeping! Quickly, I tiptoed out of the room. Jumped back into bed, knowing that I would surely be getting up soon to feed my very hungry little girl. Not so. Again, at 5 am I jump out of bed, race upstairs and she's still sleeping. Oh, how beautiful! Back to bed. At exactly 6:10 am Audrey signals flow through the monitor letting me know it is definitely time to get up. Upstairs, my sweet Audrey just smiles, as if she knows the gift of sleep she has given me. After a quick diaper change we head downstairs to watch whatever is on our DVR, because you know there's nothing worth watching at 6 am on a Sunday. Amazing thing is she didn't even take a bottle until 7 am! So, the true test will be tonight...is this something that will stick or is this a fluke like her rolling over on January 20th? Who knows? All I know is, that one night of rest sure felt great.

A lot of Catching-up to do!

It's hard for me to believe that its been almost a month since I've written a post. I guess that's a little indication of how busy the holidays were. So, this post is just to catch up on what has been happening around our home.

CHRISTMAS

This Christmas was more wonderful than I ever could have imagined. Dawson was an absolute blast. Sammy the elf (the elf on the shelf) added so much anticipation to our home throughout the month of December. Dawson spoke with him on a regular basis, telling him how good he had been. He never failed to add that he surely deserved more toys than Lane because he is such a big helper, Lane isn't always nice to Audrey, Lane kicks, Lane doesn't love Mommy and Daddy as much as I do...you get the picture. Lane on the other hand was exhausted after opening gifts at our house Christmas morning. I think he would've been content to have stayed home in his pj's before heading out to all our other family get-togethers. Audrey just slept and smiled through Christmas. I think she put on some holiday weight, as she now weighs in the upper 15 lb region. Amazing, who would ever belief this little one was a preemie. I surely could not leave out Olivia. I had peace in my heart this Christmas when I thought about what Christmas in heaven might be like for her. As much as I want her here with me, can you imagine what she saw this Christmas.

A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

We received great news recently and now that our entire family knows I think I can finally post it on my blog! I'm going to be an aunt! My brother, Lee and Tara are having a baby! I just can't tell you enough how excited I am about this. Being a parent is one of lifes greatest rewards. There is no doubt in my mind that Lee and Tara will be excellent parents. Congrats, again! Oh, and I'm serious, Tara, when I say "get Shawna's secrets on how she gets her girls to be so excited about bedtime!"

NEW YEARS

We rang in 2009 in the comfort of our living room, you know we just don't get out much these days. Funny thing is there's no place I would've rather been. A little Coccia House Pizza, some great appetizers and even greater guests (Mom, Dad, Lee, Tara and Kendra) made the night perfect. As much as I have looked forward to a new year, it was also hard to let go of a year that has been so momentous in my life. It's one more time I had to say good-bye. Good-bye to the year that started with one surprise that led to many others. A year of ups and downs. A year full of hope. A year of heartache. A year that I witnessed a miracle. A faith-strengthening year. A year that has redefined who I am.

waiting for the ball to drop

HI-HO, HI-HO

It's back to work I go. Life is flying by at record speed now that I'm back to work. It was hard to go back for the obvious reasons...I miss my kids and there is just never enough time for family. Our weeknights seem non-existent. I honestly feel like we just move on from one task to the next...dinner ready, dinner cleaned up, bath time, bed time. I live for weekend time with my kiddos! Long Saturdays spent in our PJ's just hanging out is about as good as it gets. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job. The best part of being back to work is seeing friends on a daily basis. It's really nice to have some adult conversation, funny thing is the majority of our conversations are about our kids. You know, the typical-is this normal for a 20 month old? Is your four year old fascinated with body parts and the noise they can make, or is that just a boy thing? So, although going back to work was difficult, it has gone far better than what I ever could've imagined. I'm working hard to get back in the groove.

NEONATAL FOLLOW-UP CLINIC

not so preemie

Evidently preemie's that come back for the neonatal follow-up clinic at Aultman don't typically weigh 15 lbs at 5 1/2 months (3 months corrected age). Remember, she only weighed 2 lbs 14 1/2 oz at birth. My little lady is a chunk, correction CHUNK. I'm telling you, you would never know Audrey was a preemie. Maybe her weight has something to do with her three night time feedings....eek! Any advice here would be greatly appreciated. You can imagine being back at work and still getting up for three feedings a night! It's exhausting, yet I know it is also short lived and how quickly we forget these exhausting times. So, as far as being healthy is concerned Audrey looks great! She's eating well, gaining well and is a healthy little one. The only area of concern is her extension. Which basically means she has a really straight back and she really enjoys her arms just kind of hanging out. The reason for this is that she wasn't in the womb long enough to be in the fetal position. Therefore, she never had to be curled up with her arms and legs in tight. This is the exact reason for the extension, she likes to sit straight up. I guess a plus would be that she has great posture. The neonatalogist has referred Audrey to a Physical Therapist for therapy once a week. Audrey will return to the follow-up clinic shortly after her first birthday. Amazing how time flies, her first birthday will be here before we know it! Did I mention....Audrey rolled over on January 20! It may have been a fluke, because it hasn't happened since. I have plenty of footage after her first roll, she tried really hard but couldn't quite stick it again. This is one of those times I wish God would tap me on the shoulder..."Kodak moment about to happen" How I'd love to have all those little firsts on film.

A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING

The most recent adventure for our family was our weekend trip to Chicago for Aaron and Stephanie's wedding. A little side note: Aaron is my cousin and we go way back to the days of playing dress-up. Kendra and I would put on any fancy clothes we could find in Grandma's stash and Aaron never failed to be his usual used book salesman with an aweful hat. I can't make this stuff up, we were young and he actually came up with that as his occupation. Makes me laugh just thinking about it. Back to the wedding-this was one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever been to. Let me tell you, everything was gorgeous from the bride to the beautiful cake my grandma made for them. The most beautiful aspect of the wedding was definitely the couple. Aaron and Stephanie just lit up the room, sure they looked gorgeous, but it was more than that. It was seeing how much fun they were having and the way they looked at each other. I don't know if you could find a more suited couple. Dawson and Lane were ring bearers and from the beginning we weren't sure how that was going to work out. I envisioned Lane darting out of the church or down the aisle. He's a wild man at 20 months and can't seemed to be tamed at the moment. Rehearsal didn't go so well, yet that was after an 8 hour drive to Chicago. I knew I didn't have to worry about Dawson, he took this mission seriously. Somehow by the grace of God, Lane and Dawson made it down the aisle. I knew Kevin would have to take Lane out of the church, there was no way he was going to make it through (the wedding was scheduled at nap time, yikes!) After a beautiful wedding and photos with the smallest ringbearer exiting at each flash of the camera we headed to River East Art Center for an amazing reception. It was here that we realized how smitten Dawson was with Stephanie. He was really enjoying everything about the wedding, so I guess that's when he decided to ask Kendra to marry him. Aww, so cute. Then he asked her if she would change her name to Stephanie. Oh, my goodness! He's only four-this boy has some lessons to learn about ladies! Dawson openned up the evening on the dance floor to the small orchestra that was playing. He was tuckered out by the time the bands started and that was when Lane got his second wind. I couldn't believe the boy was still standing, much less dancing with the bridesmaids and Soleil, his adorable little cousin. As much as Kevin and I would have loved to stay and close the reception, we headed back on the first shuttle to the Sheridan to get our kiddos to bed. What a night! Congrats, again Aaron and Stephanie! We are so excited to have Stephanie join our family-she is so much fun and beautiful inside and out. We cannot wait to see Aaron and Stephanie again to hear stories of their African Adventures and just to spend time with them.

Exhibit A-in the photo

Exhibit B-Exiting the photo

Love Struck Dawson and Stephanie

I think that sums up all you've missed in a nutshell. It's now 5:45 am on Friday morning and my baby girl has graced me with her presence since 5:15. She must have known how much I've been wanting to update our blog, huh. It's now time to get ready for work! Many hugs to each of you. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and that your New Year has started off well! My goal is to post on Thursdays, so feel free to check back! I'm sure we'll have many tales to share.

Love,

Jenn

One Packed-Full Post!

What a busy time of year! Just to prove it, I have lots of pictures and stories to share about all that has kept me busy enough to neglect our blog. You'll have to scroll down, I have a story that has to be shared first.

Among all the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season, it is so easy to get caught up and not focus on the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus, the greatest gift of all. How thankful I am for Jesus! I am so thankful for the hope that I have because of him!

This past Sunday was the first time I have been to church since July. Keeping Audrey at home until she has gotten stronger and received a few Synagis shots has been the priority. Since we have a few of those shots out of the way, I felt it was time to take her to church. I love our church and I especially love being at church during Christmas! If I had any reservations at all whether or not I should've taken Audrey out in the blustery cold weather they were answered within five minutes of stepping into the church building. We were greeted and Audrey was immediately the center of attention (such a proud mommy moment). When a lady commented on how small she was I explained that she only weighed 2 lbs. 14 1/2 oz when she was born. Since she is now over 12 lbs she seems rather big to me. As I hung up my coat an older lady approached me and asked if she heard correctly what Audrey weighed. She explained that she was born during the Great Depression and weighed the same as Audrey. She then furthered her story by explaining that she had an identical twin sister that weighed a little over one pound that did not survive due to heart complications. What are the chances? Thank you, God, for this reminder that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. I smiled and shared that Audrey had an identical twin sister, too. I really wanted to give her the biggest hug! We spoke for a few more minutes, there were so many questions I had for her. She did answer one without my asking. It was heartwrenching to hear her say, to this day when she sees twins she wonders what her life would've been like with her sister here. Confirmation that it is normal to wonder everyday what life would be like with both, Audrey and Olivia here.

There was more for me during the service. You know those services, the ones that make you feel like it's just you and the preacher having a one-sided, heart-to-heart. One-sided because you don't need to speak, he knows exactly whats on your heart and what you need to hear. I just have to share a little bit from the service. The title: When a Baby Reigns as King-Discover the Life You've Always Wanted (Isaiah 9:6-7). Our notes from the sermon warm my heart as I read them again now. "A baby always attracts attention - any time, anywhere...all babies deserve love and attention, but no baby deserves more attention than the One born in a barn over 2,000 years ago. Discover four reasons why this baby provides the life God designed us to experience." This sermon is exactly what I needed, the four reasons are as follows:

1. When I am confused, He offers his plan. Jesus is our "Wonderful Counselor" and He makes the plans. "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21
2. When I am weak, He offers his power. Jesus is our "Mighty God" and He makes the plans work.
3. When I am alone, He offers His presence. Jesus is our "Everlasting Father" forever.
4. When I am disturbed, He offers His peace. Jesus is the "Prince of Peace." "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take Heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Wow, talk about knowing exactly what someone needs! I was right where I was intended to be on Sunday morning. As we head into Christmas it is important to remember Isaiah 9:6-7. "For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end." I am so thankful for the Hope and Peace we have been given!

Troyer Tales to Share:

We kicked off this month by attending The Nutcracker in Wooster. Mom got tickets for the three of us to go knowing that Dawson is a big fan of Tchaikovsky. Funny story, we were waiting for the ballet to start and Dawson asked if Tchaikovsky was there (he, he, he). I told him he had been there, given the music and had been gone for a long time. Best explanation I could give him before the show started. I was quite impressed with the fact that Dawson lasted through the entire show and didn't get ancy until the last fifteen minutes.

Mommy, Dawson & Nina ready for The Nutcracker

Dawson enjoying his gift from Nina, how fitting!

Ok, so it's really late and I gotta catch some zzzz's before Audrey wakes up for her first late night, early morning feeding! More to come...

Merry Christmas!

Love,

Jenn

A Visitor in the Troyer Home

Sammy ~ our friendly scout elf

I have to thank Angie, from Bring the Rain for this wonderful new guest we have in our home. Dawson is just elated to have Sammy, our Christmas elf, joining us this year. If you have never heard of the "Elf on the Shelf" you have to check this out, especially if you have young children.

Sammy showed up in our mailbox and Dawson hasn't been the same since! I honestly don't know who has been more excited about this, Dawson or myself. I could hardly wait to read the book to Dawson after getting our scout elf all nestled in his stocking. I read the "The Elf on the Shelf" book to Dawson and we talked about this new visitor that was in our home. Dawson's first task was to name his elf. Dawson is obsessed with the name Sammy, hence the name of our former dog and our scout elf. The book basically explains how Santa knows if you have been naughty or nice. He simply sends out scout elves to watch over children. The elves then report back to Santa at night when the kids are sleeping. In the morning, Sammy finds a new place to watch the kids from for that day. Dawson loves searching for Sammy in the morning and is quick to grab the book if he can't find him. It doesn't say that you have to do this, Dawson just believes that if he hears the story he will be able to locate him :) A few rules of Sammy's...he can't talk, per Santa's law and he can't be touched or he will lose his Christmas magic that allows him to fly back to the North Pole each night.

I'm telling you, it is just adorable to see Dawson with this elf. The first day, I was baking cookies in the kitchen and Dawson was talking to Sammy. I heard him say, "Sammy, make sure you tell Santa that I'm going to make him cookies tomorrow. And, Sammy, I'm going to be really, really good." So sweet! Now, of course Dawson never fails to tell Sammy each time Lane does something that would be disapproving in Santa's eyes. Oh, brothers...so funny.

So, I am just so happy to have found a new Christmas tradition! I just had to share it with you. One more to add to the list. The more you have the better, so we've started quite a few in our family. I love the traditions my family has had since I was a child. I think I may have been a freshman in college when I finally stopped making my name tags for Santa. Really, I know, it's sad. My mom used to give us cut-outs from paper bags that we had to write our names on. I can remember it like it was yesterday, she used those giant zigzag shears that were silver with black handles. You see, I get procrastination (is that a word) from my mom. Her tradition was to wait until the last minute to wrap Christmas gifts. When I say last minute, I mean Christmas Eve between the Smith Christmas ending at approximately 9:00 pm until we went to Christmas Eve Services at 11:00 pm. She really counted on my aunts to help get all the work done, cracks me up just thinking about how they must have been rushing to get things done. Funny, we never really questioned why we weren't allowed downstairs on Christmas Eve with all the "big people". So, while all the adults were downstairs wrapping gifts, all of the children were upstairs making our name tags for Santa. As the oldest, I always made sure that everyone was working to get them done. You know, surely the more name tags you had the more gifts you were going to get. Oh, the good 'ol days.

As much as I love all these traditions, it is most important to us that our children know the true meaning of Christmas: Jesus, the greatest gift of all. I struggle with teaching this to a four year old and would welcome any parental advice in this area. I feel like I'm always reminding him "why do we have Christmas? Whose birthday is it?" The great thing, he always knows the answer.

More to come in the next few days. There's so much happening at the Troyer Household during this busy time of year. I'll be sharing pictures of our trip to see "The Nutcracker" and ofcourse, I have some too-cute, kid quotes to share!

Hugs to each of you!

Jenn

For Audrey and Olivia

Just some photos to share from December 7, TTTS Awareness Day. We lit candles for Audrey at 5:10 and Olivia at 5:15. These candles are not just for my girls. They are for each set of twins that has to go through the trials of TTTS and for the mother that carries them. They are for the sisters and brothers that are often left in the care of others while their Mommy and Daddy are doing whats best for their twins. They are for every lady that I have meant through the TTTS website, you each have a special place in my heart.

The single candle lit is for Audrey, our recipient and survivor. How blessed we are to have her!

Our second candle lit was for Olivia, our donor and angel. I miss you everyday.

Audrey-my amazing, wonderful miracle from God.

Olivia-my daughter that I will always miss and wonder what life would've been like with you here. I know you are safe in His hands and one day I will hold you in mine.

Canon Rebel Raffle - "Rebel For A Cause"

It's not very often that I post twice a week, but I have to tell you about another great cause! Please don't miss the post after this one regarding International TTTS Awareness Month!

So, you gotta check this out! What a raffle...I'm talkin' huge, gotta give it a shot raffle! For all of you photography fans that love to catch your family in pictures...this ones for you! MckMama, mother of 4 little ones, started this raffle to raise money for 3 different charities: String of Pearls, No Hands but Ours, and the Elison Project. You can learn all about these organization through MckMama's Blog, My Charming Kids. All you have to do is buy a raffle ticket for $10 a piece, the more you buy, the more chances you have to win! Each one you purchase will enter you in the Rebel For a Cause Raffle to win a 12.2 megapixel Canon Rebel XSi with 2 lenses, a high speed memory card, camera carrying case, custom made camera strap, 16x20 canvas print of a photo of yours, AND a blog makeover (if you have one of course). Don't miss out on this great opportunity to win great prizes and even more importantly the opportunity to benefit 3 great organizations! Good Luck!

Close to my heart...

I often think about the ladies walking into the Cincinnatti Fetal Care Center, I'm sure there are at least 2 there today. I pray for these ladies on a regular basis, pray that God will be with them as they get through such a difficult journey. My heart breaks for these ladies, just as it breaks for the lives inside them. I know they will soon hear the fate of their identical twins. Is surgery a possibility? Will they survive? Will they get to bring one baby home? Is it already too late and nothing can be done?

The day we walked into CFCC was one of the most difficult days in my life. A day that I was full of hope, but honestly scared to death. It was the beginning of an extremely painful and heartbreaking journey. I look at Audrey laying on the floor beside me and my heart breaks. It breaks because I love her so much and it breaks because I wish so bad that we would've been one of the families that got to bring home two healthy babies...Audrey and Olivia.

If you're reading my blog you probably know the story of Audrey and Olivia . This Sunday, December 7, is World TTTS Awareness Day and December is International TTTS awareness month. I will be donating to the TTTS Foundation every year on dates that will always be close to my heart. Please, if you are considering making a donation this time of year think about donating to the TTTS Foundation. Your generosity will enable this organization to continue their mission to help families try to save their babies and bring comfort to those experiencing devastating losses, special needs, and NICU struggles. All babies deserve a chance.

I feel very fortunate to have received the care that I did, my doctors who new they couldn't help me sent me to someone they thought could. Not all medical professionals do this. The TTTS foundation is an organization that is making a difference in the medical profession. They are getting crucial information regarding TTTS to medical professionals all over the world.

The TTTS Foundation website has a message board that has been a blessing to me throughout our journey. I had the support of other mothers who had been there and who were in the same position as me when my girls were diagnosed with TTTS. The ladies I have met on this board are still a part of my life. I receive so much support on the Bereavement-Loss of Your Twin Message Board. It is specifically for parents who have experienced twin to twin transfusion syndrome resulting in the loss of one of their twins or triplets. This board was created to comfort and help parents who know the pulling and tugging of your sorrow and joy. It is hard to explain the feelings associated with this disease. Truly only those who have been through it and have had the same outcome can understand the pain and joy that comes with it.

I am so thankful for this organization and for Mary Slaman-Forsythe the Founder and President. Please take the time to click on the link at the top of my site and check out what this organization is doing to save babies and the dreams of their mothers.

Love,
Jenn